


Trying and Failing

by DBR_Augary



Series: Albus Severus Potter Angst [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Albus Severus Suicide, Family Drama, Fighting, Harry Needs to Control His Temper, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Hurt Albus Severus Potter, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:20:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26692855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DBR_Augary/pseuds/DBR_Augary
Summary: It was the Christmas Holidays and Harry And Albus has been trying. They hadn’t got into as many fights. But that doesn’t mean they still didn’t argue.
Relationships: Albus Severus Potter & Harry Potter
Series: Albus Severus Potter Angst [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1968253
Comments: 10
Kudos: 61





	Trying and Failing

**Author's Note:**

> This is meant to be aggravating. You are meant to think Harry is a dipshit. 
> 
> Compliant with the events of CC

Harry and Albus had been trying as best they could. But they were just too similar and too different at the same time for it to work. They had gotten into a few fights, but nothing as bad as the one just before Albus’ fourth year. And although Harry had tried to prove he hasn’t meant what he siad, Albus would forever remember those words. 

Albus often watched fathers and their sons to try and understand why he and his father could never get along. He watched his cousins and even a few classmates and family friends.

He saw how Louis and Bill could always talk about their interests. He watched how Fred and George were so much alike that it was almost as though they could read each other’s minds. He watched how Hugo and Ron challenged each other at Wizards Chess. He watched how his brother James could always put a smile on their father Harry. He saw how Frank and Neville could talk for hours. He saw how Lorcan, Lysander and Rolf would always have their mini adventures. He saw how easily Scorpius and Draco bonded over books. Even Teddy had a better relationship with a talking portrait of his father. And where did Albus and Harry stand? In awkward silences and unspoken goodbyes.

Albus eventually gave up on trying to impress his father. He was never good enough and he knew it. I mean, how could his father ever be proud of him? He was in Slytherin, best friends with the son of his childhood nemesis and was responsible for Voldemort’s return. Granted, Scorpius saved the day but it didn’t change the fact that Voldemort had come back. Not to mention all of the articles in The Daily Prophet labelling him as the disappointment of the family.

Harry on the other hand, looked at it differently. He knew he was able to bond better with James because there was more to talk about. But the longest conversation he’d had with Albus in years ended on a sour note. He never wanted to make that mistake again. 

He saw how easy it was for Albus to bond with other adults. He saw Albus and Neville talking casually. Albus and Ron making jokes. Albus and Rolf talking about school. Even Albus and Draco bonded better. But he could never understand what was so difficult between the two of them.

Harry had read the Prophet, he knew what the wizarding world thought of his son and tried everyday to show that he didn’t think of him like that. But they just seemed so different. They couldn’t bond over their experiences at Hogwarts because Harry was loved by almost everyone and the entire school hated Albus. They couldn’t talk about quidditch because Albus broke his arm the last time he went near a broom. They couldn’t talk about the dormitories even, seeing as they were in different houses. 

Nothing ever just clicked. But there was one argument the two had that Harry regretted for the rest of his life and Albus never forgot. It was the Christmas holidays of Albus’ fifth year, the day after Christmas. And the memory is ingrained in both of their minds.

Albus was sitting in his bedroom with a Divination book and a pile of books on the floor about Astronomy, Potions, Ancient Runes and Divination. Yet another thing the Albus and his father didn’t have in common. Harry knocked on the door before coming in.

”Hello father,” Albus said without looking up from his book.

”No need to be so formal,” Harry attempted to joke, “Dad is perfectly fine.”

Albus turned a page and Harry looked around awkwardly.

”So, Divination?” Harry asked.

Albus hummed in response.

”Look Al - “

”Albus.”

”Albus. We need to figure out why this relationship isn’t working.”

”Maybe because you keep barging in,” Albus nodded his head to the still open door.

”Right, well sorry about that,” Harry was looking for something to say, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

”Not a clue, but I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”

Harry sighed, “Listen, tell me honestly why you think this relationship isn’t working out? I’m your father, I should know what’s going on in your life.”

Albus didn’t say anything. 

“Albus just tell me what it is -!”

”I’m scared of you!” Albus’ eyes went wide as though he only just realised it himself.

”What?” Harry asked.

”I’m scared of you.” 

“Al, there’s nothing to be scared of,” Harry spoke softly.

”Is there not?” Albus stood up, “We get into fights all the time, I seem to be the only one you get angry with, Lily is constantly doing stuff to make me look bad and anger you, James is always trying to get a rise out of me, Mum barely acknowledges my existence and in the middle of all this you’re constantly taking their side!”

”I don’t take sides - “

”Yes you do!” Albus exclaimed, trying to fight tears, “Lily once broke her arm and blamed it on me, I tried to explain that I had warned her to not try and do tricks on the broom and I got grounded because you and Mum wouldn’t listen!”

”Al - “

”I decided to join movie night for once and James kept throwing popcorn at me, I eventually got tired yelled at him. He acted all innocent and of course you believed him! It’s always them! For once can you listen to me!?”

”Al, that’s what I’m doing now.”

Albus began panting from his rant, “And the worst part of it all is that you never even bothered to try and get to know me.”

Harry didn’t know what to say to that. Of course he had tried. Hadn’t he?

”Albus, of course I tried to get to know you,” Harry didn’t want to lose his temper at the boy like the last argument they had in his room, “You just made it so hard. Constantly shutting yourself away - “

”Father,” Albus was on the verge of screaming again, “I was shutting myself away because I was scared. I already explained that I was scared of you.”

”But why?”

”Oh my Merlin! You said you were listening! We fight all the time and you just look so angry!”

”How can I not get angry when you constantly have to disagree just to piss me off!” Harry was losing his temper at this point.

”I do it because you don’t listen!”

”At least you have your bloody parents!”

”Don’t use the orphan card on me! I am your son! Start treating me like it!”

”I do!”

”You don’t! And do you honestly think your parents would be proud of this!?”

”Don’t -!”

”Proud of how you won’t listen to your own son!? Proud of how you constantly use their death as an excuse!? Grow the fuck up father!”

The next thing Harry did was something he regretted an inordinate amount. Albus stumbled back and hit the floor, clutching his cheek. He looked up at his father with tears in his eyes. Harry’s anger melted away as he realised what he did.

”Oh my Merlin...” Harry raised a hand to his mouth in shock at what he did, “Albus I’m so sorry...”

Albus got to his feet, “No reason to be afraid of you aye?”

”Albus I am so sorry,” Harry took a step forward and Albus stumbled back, “Please,” Harry had his own tears welling in his eyes.

”Get out,” Albus said quietly.

”Albus - “

”Get out!” Albus screamed.

Harry didn’t know how he could fix this. He didn’t know how he could apologise or make it up to Albus. So he left and shut the door behind him. But he listened through the door and heard the muffled cries of his son. How could Albus forgive him for that? How could he forgive himself for that? How could anyone forgive a man for slapping his own son cross the face?

And Albus? Well you can imagine what happened. He began shaking and threw himself onto his bed, wailing into the pillow as the tears he had been holding in all flooded out. The bruise forming on his dace was all he needed as proof that his father wasn’t sorry for what he said just before his fourth year. Proof that he had meant it. Proof that Harry really did wish Albus wasn’t his son.

They both remembered the moment for the rest of their lives. Even if Albus’ ended a few short months later.


End file.
